


Forget-Me-Not

by ughdotcom



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Don't copy to another site, F/M, Faked Memory Loss, Fist Fights, From an OC, Homophobia, Lies, M/M, Misogyny, Other, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:40:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28283370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ughdotcom/pseuds/ughdotcom
Summary: He didn’t think they would love him anymore. Even though they had agreed to join him again, that didn’t mean they could still love him. Regeneration was tricky, relationships didn’t always survive it.Maybe that was what compelled him to lie when she said it. It wasn’t like there was really a reason to lie, but he did it anyway.~~The Doctor feels like Rose and Jack won't love him anymore. So he pretends he forgot they loved him at all.
Relationships: Ninth Doctor/Jack Harkness/Rose Tyler, Tenth Doctor/Jack Harkness/Rose Tyler, The Doctor/Jack Harkness/Rose Tyler
Comments: 4
Kudos: 23





	Forget-Me-Not

He didn’t think they would love him anymore. Even though they had agreed to join him again, that didn’t mean they could still love him. Regeneration was tricky, relationships didn’t always survive it.

Maybe that was what compelled him to lie when she said it. It wasn’t like there was really a reason to lie, but he did it anyway.

“Do you remember everything?” Rose asked. “Like, from before?”

“Mostly. Why, is there something I’m missing? Something big?”

“Well, just, normally you would have kissed one of us by now.” Rose said, and the Doctor looked over at her, keeping his face cool and blank.

“Why would I do that?”

Rose’s eyes watered, and she looked down, stepping back towards Jack, who slid his hand into hers. “No reason, sorry.”

“Okay! So. Where to next?”

“He can’t- just forget, can he?” Rose asked Jack, moving closer into his arms.

“Apparently.” Jack said, wrapping his arms tight around her.

A tear slid down Rose’s face as she watched the new Doctor fiddle with the control panel. “I thought- maybe it could stay. Even with his new face.”

Jack didn’t know very much about Time Lords. No one did. But he didn’t think that they could just forget during regeneration. Which meant only one thing - the Doctor, their Doctor, the old Doctor, had chosen to forget during his regeneration.

That hurt. That he would choose to just forget them, forget everything that they had. Not that he would tell Rose.

“Actually, Doctor, I think Jack and I should probably get to sleep. We’re human, we can’t stay awake as long as you.”

Jack found that almost funny. He knew the Doctor could stay awake for a long time, but this would be the first time since they first kissed that the Doctor wouldn’t join them in bed, curled up with them.

“What? Oh, yeah. Have fun.” the Doctor turned around to fiddle with the controls, ignoring the tears that welled up in his eyes.

Jack slipped his hand into Rose’s, and they walked out of the control room, Rose leaning into his shoulder and blinking back tears.

They reached the doors to their rooms, and Jack unlocked his, starting to step in, before turning back to Rose, who was holding back. “Coming?”

“I thought- because he wasn’t himself you wouldn’t want me.”

“Hey.” Jack said, stepping forward and grabbing her arms. “I love  _ both _ of you. No matter what. Alright?”

Rose gave a watery giggle. “Yeah.”

“Now, come on, it’s time to sleep.” they slipped into Jack’s room, closing the door behind them.

In the hall, just around the corner, out of sight, the Doctor watched and wondered if they even needed him.

Jack pulled off his shirt, changing into his pyjamas, back turned to Rose, who was doing the same.

“Can I turn around now?” he asked when he was done changing.

“Yeah.” Rose said, and he turned to her, pulled her close, and laid down on the bed with her. They wiggled around to get comfortable, and ended up with Rose curled close to Jack, head resting on his chest. “Good night.” she breathed out, pulling up the blankets to cover them.

“Night.” he murmured back, tightening his arm around her comfortably and pretending to ignore her tears dripping down onto his shirt.

Normally, if the Doctor wasn’t with them, he wouldn’t bother sleeping, but instead he moved to his own room, lying down on the bed and squeezing a pillow tight. They didn’t need him, he reminded himself, not the him that he was now. Just because they still travelled with him didn’t mean they would still love him. He wasn’t still the exact same. Different face, mildly different personality. He wasn’t  _ theirs _ .

He wished he was.

The next day they all pretended it was back to normal as they travelled. They pretended that underneath their calm demeanors that their hearts weren’t shattered to pieces.

Rose stayed closer to Jack than she would usually, avoiding all touch with the Doctor. The Doctor made sure to make her comfortable, not coming too close to her. It made it all worse.

Rose thought he didn’t want to touch her because she was  _ herself _ and he didn’t love her like before.

The Doctor thought she was avoiding him because she couldn’t even stand to be close to him.

Jack thought that it was all very awkward. He was angry, angry at the Doctor for forgetting, angry at Rose for not giving him a chance, angry at himself for being angry.

The tension was thick in the air as they made their way through Ancient Egypt, almost visible as they once more fought aliens.

When they retired to the TARDIS, Jack was almost about ready to slap the Doctor and yell at him to remember. Almost. He didn’t. If the Doctor chose to not remember, to forget everything, that was his choice, even if it meant that Jack and Rose had to live with it more than him.

Jack and Rose slept curled together in Jack’s bed again, pretending to ignore the other’s tears.

They finally settled into a routine with the Doctor, awkward as it was. Rose and the Doctor could touch now, but Rose always moved away when his skin hit somewhere other than her arms. They were able to be casual with him again, joking and laughing, but there was always an undercurrent of something sad. Even when they linked hands in glee, one of them always pulled back when they noticed.

They couldn’t get into the rhythm of before, even the rhythm of when they were pining. Instead it was like they were dancing circles around each other, wanting to dance  _ with _ each other, but being too afraid to ask to dance.

“Hey, Doc.” Jack said casually one day. “I was wondering if Rose and I could go out to the pub or something. Just drop us off in Rose’s modern London somewhere, and we’ll come back when we’re done.

The Doctor noted that he wasn’t invited. Jack didn’t even mean not to invite him, but as best as he could tell in the timeless way of the TARDIS, it was their anniversary. He couldn’t exactly invite the Doctor to a time out that was mainly going to be him and Rose crying about his amnesia.

The Doctor didn’t even realize that that was what was happening. He just felt as if they had finally realized that they could be better off without him, better off just the two of them.

The TARDIS landed in the middle of London, 2006, all ready for Jack and Rose to go out while the Doctor stayed behind.

They didn’t look happy as they chose a seat and ordered drinks. They didn’t bother with a facade.

Instead they sat, letting silent tears drip down their cheeks, trying to numb the pain in unhealthy ways.

“I’m going to the bathroom.” Jack said finally, laying a hand on Rose’s arm. “I’ll be right back.”

“Have fun.” Rose joked, face and voice dry.

As soon as Jack was gone, a man slid into the seat he had been in, opposite Rose. “hey.” he said. “What’s a pretty thing like you doing here alone?”

Rose looked up at him for several seconds before realizing he was flirting. Flirting with  _ her _ , whose eyes were red and puffy, whose hair was messed up, who was with a man just a few seconds ago. “I’m not alone.”

“Did he leave you? You seem to be crying pretty hard.”

“Then why are you coming onto me?”

“Well, I reckon I can help with that.”

“You really can’t. Goodbye.” the man didn’t get up, and instead took a sip of Jack’s drink, and Rose scowled, grabbing the drink from his hand. “That’s not yours.”

“Well, it doesn’t seem to be anyone’s.”

“It’s my boyfriend’s. Now leave.”

“Ah. An elusive boyfriend. He’s not here right now, so what’s stopping you from just coming with me?”

A hand tapped on the man’s shoulder, and he looked up to see Jack. “Well, I trust her, but mainly me.” Jack said, grabbing the man’s collar and pulling him to his feet. “That’s my spot.”

The man snarled and muttered something under his breath.

“Sorry, what did you say?”

The man said louder, “I said that she’s a bitch that doesn’t know quality when she sees it. What, did you knock her up? Is that why she’s with you? I’ve seen you before, with men. Does she know that her boyfriend’s a faggot.”

“Jack? Move out of the way.” Rose said, standing up and moving in front of the man. “You don’t get to talk to him or me like that, you fucking prick. Now, I want to apologize to me, and then to him.”

“Why should I?”

“Oh, bad choice.” Rose said, punching him square in the nose.

“My nose!” he screamed, touching it and bringing away his hand, bloody. “You’ll pay for that, you little bitch.”

“Oh, will I? Because I’m not the one bleeding right now. You’re too drunk to even hit me right.”

“Rose, babe, I love you, and I absolutely agree with you, but I think getting in a bar fight is a really shitty way to spend our anniversary.”

“Nah, it’s perfect. Aren’t fights just what we do?”

“Well, you aren’t wrong.” Jack said, blocking the punch the man threw at Rose, kneeing him in the groin. “Hope they understand it isn’t our fault and don’t gang up on us.”

“We aren’t that lucky.” Rose said, watching the patrons gather around them.

“When are we ever? Fight our way out, or just fight them all?”

“Just fight our way out. I’m not in the mood for a full blown fight.” she grabbed the arm grabbing at her, yanked the man it was connected to towards her, and pulled him down to the ground.

“Oh, babe, you really know how to plan a date.” Jack blocked a punch and kneed another man in the groin.

“No, babe, all the credit goes to you.” Rose said, hitting a woman in the jaw. “Why are they so aggressive?”

“Well, they’re human, which is a small comfort.”

“Yeah, small.” they managed to make their way out of the pub into the cool, crisp air, where they ran like hell down the street.

“That was fun.” Jack said with a sigh. “Good times.”

“Find another place?” Rose offered. “I'm not quite done mourning our anniversary.”

“Yeah.” Jack said, grabbing her hand. “Neither am I.”

They strolled down the slick streets, rain falling onto their hair and clothes.

“Rose, I have to tell you something.”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t think he could forget about it during regeneration. Unless he chose to forget. Normally regeneration is smooth, they don’t forget things. Even though he had a difficult one, with the coma and all, I don’t think he’d forget unless during the process he focused really hard on forgetting.” Jack admitted.

“Are you saying he chose to forget this?  _ Us _ ?” Rose said, more tears beginning to track down her face.

“I wish I wasn’t.”

“Why would he?”

“I don’t know.” Jack said, pushing open the door to another pub, letting Rose enter before him. They settled into a booth, ordering the strongest alcohol they could. “I don’t want to know, not really.”

“Yeah. I do. I want to know why he’d ever choose to leave us.” she stared at the drink she was given. “I don’t really fancy getting drunk.”

“Neither do I.” Jack said, pushing his cup to the center of the table. “Do you mind? I didn’t actually get to go to the restroom.”

“I think I’m going to go out for a walk.” Rose said, leaning forward and giving him a soft kiss. “Come join me when you’re done?”

“Of course.” they both got up from the table, leaving behind a few quid for the drinks.

Rose slipped outside the pub, pulling off her jacket to feel the rain fall on her skin. She let her feet splash along the wet pavement, trailing her toes in the puddles, no matter what it would do to her trainers.

Ahead of her she could see the Doctor, walking down the streets towards her, head hanging.

“Doctor.” she said, loudly enough he could just barely hear.

“Rose.” he said, quickening his step to meet her. She barely tried to stay collected before she fell into his arms sobbing.

Rationally she knew it was a bad idea. There was no way she could explain why she was crying to him, but she was buzzed enough to not care, not care enough to stop.

“ _ Why _ did you forget?” she asked before she could stop herself. “ _ How _ could you forget? How  _ dare _ you forget?”

“Forget what?” the Doctor asked, pressing one hand comfortingly on her back, and stroking her hair with the other.

“Oh you  _ asshole _ . Forget us. Forget me and Jack.”

“I didn’t forget.” the Doctor admitted under his breath, just loud enough for her to hear. “I lied.”

She shoved away from him, stepping back. “Why would you do that?”

“I didn’t think you and Jack could love me. It felt like it would bring less heartbreak if you thought I didn’t remember.” he looked down at his Converse.

“Less heartbreak  _ for you _ .” Rose corrected. “Not for us, you fucking  _ asshole _ . We love you, and you lied. Why? Why would you ever think that? Just because you changed? Just because now you’re a scrawny bloke with sideburns that are Satan’s work? We love you no matter what, but you’re just dense enough to not understand that. Why do you  _ think _ we’re crying in a pub tonight? For shits and giggles? Or could it  _ possibly _ be because it’s out fucking anniversary, and you  _ forgot _ us? Jack thought you did it on purpose, and technically you did! You lied! You  _ bitch _ !”

“I’m sorry.” he said, stepping towards her and reaching out, but she stepped back again.

“I know. I know you’re sorry. That goes without saying. That’s not any sort of apology.”

“I thought it was mercy for you. I thought that it would save you from saying that you didn’t love me anymore.”

“You didn’t consider that we would still love you? Do you think of us that poorly?”

“No. I think of myself that poorly. I thought since I wasn’t  _ him _ that you couldn’t love me the same.”

“You are him.” Rose said, stepping forward, brushing rain soaked hair out of her face. “You  _ are _ him, and we love you.” she pressed her palm to his cheek, tilting his head up and looking into his eyes. “ _ God _ we love you.” she pressed her lips softly to his, pulling away after a second. “You can doubt any number of things, but never doubt that. Never think that Jack and I don’t love you.”

“Rose.” he said, staring into her eyes as tears dripped from his, mixing with the raindrops.

“Doctor.” she said, kissing his cheek. “ _ My _ Doctor.” she pressed another kiss to his other cheek. “ _ Our _ Doctor.” she kissed his lips softly again.

“I’m going to have to tell Jack.”

“You are, and I can’t promise he’ll take as well as me. He already has a hard time believing he can be loved.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“I know. I know. Now, you have to tell Jack, you know.”

“Yeah. Take me to him?” the Doctor said, stepping back and sliding his hand into Rose’s.

“He should be coming out to join me soon.” she said, watching the door of the pub they had been in. It opened, and Jack came out, running up to join them.

“Hey, Doc.” he said, forcing a casual tone. “What’s up?”

“I remember. I always remembered. I lied to you.”

Jack surged forwards, grabbing the Doctor’s face and kissing him hard. He pulled away, stepped back, and slapped him.

“You  _ asshole _ ? Why?”

“I thought you wouldn’t love me anymore, and I thought it would be easier for me than hearing you say it. I thought it would be easier for you than telling me the truth.”

“You couldn’t even  _ entertain _ the idea that we loved you? Just because you changed?”

“I didn’t think, Jack.”

“You sure didn’t! I don’t know whether to laugh or cry, kiss you or punch you!” Jack yelled, dropping his head onto the Doctor’s shoulder.

The Doctor wound an arm around Jack's shoulder, using the other to tilt up Jack’s head and wipe the rain and tears from under his eyes. “I’m so sorry, love.”

“I know.” Jack said with a sob and chuckle. “Oh, I know.”

“I love you. I love both of you so much. I should have never lied. Not to you, never to you.”

“I love you too, Doctor.” Jack replied. “Just know, that means you can’t lie, no matter how easy it may be. No matter how much the struggle, you have to tell us the truth.”

“I know.” the Doctor blinked back his tears.

“Remember it.” Jack said, tangling a hand in the Doctor’s wet hair, slipping the other one around his neck, pulling the Doctor close and kissing him sweetly.

“Always. You two… you mean the world to me. The universe. I’d tear it apart for you, I’d tear myself apart for you.”

“Please don’t.” Rose said, leaning in to kiss him too. “But we would too.”

“We would.” Jack said, detaching from the Doctor to let Rose move into the tangle of arms.”

They all pressed their lips together with grins and giggles. “I missed you.” Rose said.

“I missed you too,” he said.

“We should go back to the TARDIS.” Jack said, picking up the corner of his rain soaked coat.

“We should.” Rose agreed. None of them moved, until finally the Doctor took both of their hands in his.

“Come on. We can dry off, and I’ve missed sleeping.”

“You haven’t been sleeping?” Rose asked as they walked, concern in her voice and face.

“I missed you too much.” The Doctor admitted.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay pretend their canonical heights don't apply in that final scene because I'm pretty sure it Does Not Work with Rose at 5'5, Jack at 6'0, and the Doctor at 6'1
> 
> Also listen I know no one is going to do this, but art of the final scene with a border of forget-me-nots would SLAP
> 
> Congrats to my friend for helping me with the name, idea for the conclusion, and Jack reaction. Shout out to you, you're awesome.


End file.
